THE BOY WHO ONCE HATED ENGLISH (Fiction)

THE UNIVERSITY OF LIFE
CHAPTER 3: THE CRACK

The triad chatted amid munching of pieces of toast, as they ambled along the front of the school garage. It's a multiple garage which stretched from the corner of the school wall down to the capacious backyard of the school, where a tree mightily stood like the statute of a heroic soldier. The motley collection of vehicles in the garage was a pleasing sight!

The large backyard, until Mr Wolsey's arrival, had been a moist abode for some unwanted plants, some lowly animals like grasshoppers, and the mighty tree. When suddenly some construction work began on the ‘fallow’ land, the students and the teachers were all at loss, as to what the school authority was aiming to erect. Their curiosity grew at the completion of the work, which turned out to be a multiple garage. The teachers were so stunned when, two weeks afterward, the principal announced that funds had been made available for every teacher to get a car loan.

The triad, like every other passer-by, feasted their eyes admirably on the vehicles as they walked past.

“These teachers are really enjoying Mr. Nuttal's era,” Abike said.

“They deserve it, don't they?” Ebube responded

“They are making me want to be a teacher,” Abike said.

“At the expense of your Law career?” Ebube said

“I didn't say I wanted to be a teacher. I only said–“

“Yes, I heard what you said,” Ebube cut in. “You have ants in your eyes! Just like Mfon in Hubert's class.”

“Mosquito! That's what they call her in the class,” Hubert spoke.

“Why?” Abike asked

“Someone in the class gave her the name, because her name ‘Mfon’ sounds like ‘Efon’, which, in Yoruba, means 'mosquito',” Hubert said and they all laughed.

“The girl is so capricious,” Ebube said. “She so much desires something when she sees its glitzy sides, but show her the dark sides of that thing, her desire immediately falters.”

“And am I like that?'” Abike asked

“I learnt she's a twin,” Hubert said.

“Yes, 'Mfon' is a twin name,” Ebube said. “Her kind should be eternally grateful to Mary Slessor.”

“Who's Mary Slessor?” Hubert asked.

“You mean you don't know who Mary Slessor was?” Abike giggled.

“Don't blame him. He couldn't have known, since Mary Slessor wasn't a chemist, an engineer, a neuroscientist, a mathematician or some lunatic scientist. Such are the people within the range of his knowledge.” Ebube taunted.

Abike hissed, and said, “Don't listen to her. Mary Slessor was an English woman, who stopped the killing of twins in Igbo and Ibibio lands.” Abike explained.

“I hate to remember that horrific part of my people's history,” Ebube shut her eyes as if trying to rid herself of the thought.

“It's very primitive. Why were they killing them?” Hubert asked.

“My primitive forebears forbade multiple births by the women at that time, because they believed that only animals, by nature's laws, should have more than one offspring at a time. To them, a woman having such births was only imitating the animals, and that they said, was degrading to humanity. That was their perverted argument for killing so many innocent twins.” Ebube clarified.

“Such sick mentality!” Abike said. “Thank God for education and civilization.”

That was the last time the three all together had a companionable conversation. They were now in their final year at the college. Hubert and Ebube had then begun an intimate relationship, and had started spending more time together, with the exclusion of Abike. However, Abike, quick to suspect the budding affair, confronted Ebube, and she boldly owned up to it.

“Still water runs deep!” Abike reacted. “I can't believe that you, Ebube, are in love!” she sneered. They both were standing under the tall tree in the backyard. It had become their stomping ground.

“Why is it difficult for you to believe?” Ebube fought back.

“Joking aside, Ebube, What has come over you? It's a repulsive game you are playing. In the first place, you two are not even supposed to be sexually active at your ages. You are sixteen and he, seventeen. You are too young to manage a platonic affair. A slip now may cost you your future. Remember, we all still have miles of journey ahead of us.”

“Stop it, Abike!” Ebube Yelled. “Stop being preachy! We know what's good for us. So, keep your comments to yourself”

“'Good' my foot! You two are too callow to venture into such delicate – “

“Hold it there!” Ebube snapped. “I knew you had always had a sneaking affection for him. You had always wanted him. Now, you are so pained that I have beaten you to it.”

“Wanted who? Hubert? 'Wanted' my foot! I'll rather take the veil than fall for a man as stupidly and cheaply as you have done” Abike sneered.

“Then go take the veil and let us be! Rant if you like until you are blue in the face. I don't care what you say!”

“You obviously have been bewitched, Ebube,” Abike said, and Ebube angrily made to leave, but Abike pulled her by the hand.

“Ebube, please listen to me for goodness' sake.” Abike's tone had turned placatory. “Please, remember, it's 'better safe than sorry'”

“Abike, I beg you to please mind your own business!” Ebube said hotly. “You are such a killjoy!”

“I, a killjoy?” Abike giggled. “Speak sense to a fool and he calls you fooli-”

Ebube hadn't let her finish the words before she leapt at her, like a wounded lion. She sent Abike sprawling to the coarse ground. Rather than jump up and leap back at her in a vengeful manner, Abike simply got up quietly. She was dusting the stain that had stuck to her skirt when she felt some tingle around her knee caps. She raised her skirt above the knee-caps to discover that she had grazed her knees. As she bent, examining her injury, she felt chagrined that her friend could go such intemperate extent of attacking her. She wondered if she had done any wrong by trying to caution a straying friend. Ebube was looking more belligerent and combative as she stood very alert in expectation that Abike would make to retaliate.

Abike stood upright and gave her an expressionless look. She saw the tension on her friend's face and felt like laughing to ease the tension, but she decided against it. She turned the other cheek, and spoke.

“'It's only a fool that turns a blind eye to a neighbour gorging himself on a bad meal, because when that neighbour's restiveness starts, the fool too won't find sleep.' I have done what a good friend should do by reasoning with you, but you have decided to do what pleases you. So, it's your funeral!” She said and walked away, walking past a group of three students standing some distance away, watching the drama. Ebube drew in her lips in what seemed like remorse, but she suddenly giggled. She walked away, taking a different path.

Hubert peered into the class through the sliding window, letting his eyes roam the class, as he tried to find Ebube. She was not in the class. Abike was not there either. Where could they be? He wondered. He noticed some mocking gazes. If looks could kill! He thought, and gently, he strode away. It was break time, and students were standing about on the balcony. As he walked along the balcony, he could perceive some jeers and mocking comments; all because of the budding affair between him and Ebube. Some of his mates had all along been very green with envy at the thought of him and his two friends – Ebube and Abike – being the cynosures of all eyes, because of their outstanding academic performances. Many read the three to be arrogant, because of their introversion. The envy gained intensity when, lately, the envious mates began seeing more of Hubert and Ebube together with the unusual exclusion of Abike.

At the either end of the balcony, there was a flight of stairs. As Hubert made down the stairs at the left end, he saw a group of three female students standing on the landing, engaged in the peculiar girlish gossip. He could recognize their faces. They were all in Abike and Ebube's class. Two of them were 'recycled students'. At Thatcher College, 'recycled students' was used to refer to students who were repeating or had repeated a class. The two girls had repeated their fifth class, making the triad eventually meet up with them. They were some of the very few students whose parents didn't withdraw for being asked to repeat a class – in a private school! Abike and Ebube's class was reputed for having the highest concentration of unserious good-time girls, who could never sit pinned to a spot to do any serious study.

Most noticeable among the three girls on the landing was a certain extremely light-complected lass. She was short in size but extremely pretty. Her complexion, coupled with her size, had made her mates nickname her yellow dwarf. The sight of the girl would always evoke memories in Hubert. During a Geography class sometime earlier, Hubert had stunned everybody with a dashingly brilliant performance, when he was called out by their Geography teacher – who was very confident of Hubert’s intellectual ability – to talk about the Solar system. Hubert so well expounded the topic that everyone, even his mischievous mates, wished he was their teacher. In his explanation, he had described the sun as a medium-sized star known as yellow dwarf, because it is younger and smaller than most stars in the universe, but is very bright and extremely hot. Since that class, the girl had been tagged yellow dwarf, because of her complexion and her size. Besides, she's very aggressive and – like the sun – had a fiery temper, so much that many male students feared her. She was named Ulu, and she was a recycled student.

One of the two other girls was fairly light – she was also a recycled student – while the third one was very dark, but she's the most beautiful of the three. They were too immersed in their gossip to notice Hubert walk past. They could have passed some taunts. He could hear what they were discussing. It's Mr Wolsey and his divorce scandal.

“I had always known that no woman could survive living with the stone-hearted 'Nettle'. He's such a cold fish, and he's not cut out for the role of a husband; not with his lunatic unbending and pitiless attitudes,” said yellow dwarf.

“But candidly speaking, do you think that everything that happened was his fault?” The dark girl asked.

“No, it wasn't his but ours!” The third girl lashed out.

“With everything we've all heard, don't you girls think the decision the man took was the best any sane man could have taken?” The dark girl reasoned.

“Indeed! Why wouldn't a woman seek carnal pleasure outside the home when the supposed husband is not 'jerking' well?” Yellow dwarf said, making a lewd gesture of copulation. She laughed boisterously.

“You girls are just too corrupt to understand that the man's decision was a righteous one” The dark girl said.

“'Righteous' my foot! He's a mere plaster saint, feigning to be righteousness itself.” Yellow dwarf said.

“Would you pray to have such pervert as a mother, or would you advise Mr Wolsey, if he were your father, to accept such a wife after such gravely immoral conduct, and continue to live with her as if nothing had happened? I would do the same if I was Mr Wolsey. An upright man like him doesn't deserve such pervert for a wife.”

“And if I was Mrs Wolsey, I would do the same, and even do worse! A beautiful woman like her doesn't deserve such sexually limp and unsatisfying man for a husband! The man who is not giving his wife enough sexual satisfaction as she rightfully deserves, according to the principles of marriage, is as unfaithful and as guilty as the woman, who is seeking sexual pleasure outside wedlock” Yellow dwarf argued. They argued and counter argued…

Mr Wolsey had been married to his wife, Susanna, for fifteen years. Susanna's parents were attending Wolsey's father's church. Knowing Susanna's parents to be of unquestionable character, Reverend Nuttal, Wolsey's father, had believed that children spawned by such good-natured couple would have equally unblemished qualities. Susanna was the older of the two daughters of the Edets. Like Mr. Wolsey, she had had her university education in America. Reverend Nuttal had then studied Susanna for some months before concluding she was a chip off the block. Then, he summoned the parents and discussed with them that he would like his son to marry their daughter. Humbled by such gracious request, the parents readily expressed their happiness and willingness to marry off their daughter to the son of such gracious priest. When Wolsey was apprised of the issue by his father, he pleaded with the father to be allowed to make his own choice. But after a lengthy talk and reasoning, he yielded. He however pleaded to be allowed some time to personally study the girl. It took Wolsey three years to conclude his assessment of the girl. Then they got married in the church.

Wolsey got a rude shock when he discovered on the consummation night that his wife was not a virgin as she had claimed to be. But it was late to retreat! Yet the betrayal of his trust was too hard a blow for him to bear, and strains grew in their relationship. Four years into the marriage, they had had two male children. The strains grew deeper with every passing day. At a time, he started noticing something suspicious in the wife's behaviour. He kept her under strict surveillance, and then discovered she was having an extra-marital affair. She had earlier severally complained of unfulfilled sexual desires, but Wolsey had repeatedly shunned her. The problem peaked when he caught her in flagrante, and she unabashedly owned up to it. She claimed she had to seek sexual pleasures outside wedlock since her lawfully wedded husband wouldn't give her the sexual fulfillment that was due to her. He then filed for divorce. The wife expectantly consented to the divorce idea when she got the letter. So, the court split them, and granted Wolsey the custodial care of the children, on the grounds that the wife might influence the children with her lascivious lifestyle.

The entire thing was no longer news, for no one in the school hadn't heard about it. So, Hubert simply walked past the three gossips on the landing and hurried down the stairs. He was off the stairs and was at the entrance of the stairwell when he collided with Ebube, who was huffily dashing back to the class, after the squabble she just had with Abike. They both staggered apart as they collided, but she quickly composed herself and unmindfully dashed off. The astonished Hubert merely gazed on while she dashed up the stairs.

Their relationship cracked afterwards, and they made no pretense about the strain. Both Ebube and Hubert avoided Abike, and Abike did the same. It wasn't long before everyone in the school began suspecting that their friendship had become sour, for the girls had now started sitting apart, allowing sufficient distance between each other. Then, tongues started wagging. Some students, who had always envied the three friends, didn't hide their joy over the wedge between the three. Hubert was taunted by his class mates, and the girls were not spared too, in their class. A particular mate of Hubert's, named Paul, derided him the most. Paul had been Hubert's childhood friend and schoolmate. He had earlier wooed Abike, but she had straightforwardly turned him down. He had then approached Ebube, whose reaction wasn't a bit different from Abike's. He had then turned to Hubert, believing he, for his strong attachment to the girls, would be able to help him speak to either of the girls. He felt most hurt and embittered when Hubert told him he wouldn't run such ridiculous errand for him. As a way of avenging his wounded pride, he resorted to taunting Hubert as 'the friend of the introverted maidens'. When he later heard that the strain that had suddenly grown between the friends had been caused by Hubert's affectionate engagement with Ebube, he became greener with envy, seeing Hubert as having outsmarted him, and as having achieved a feat that he, with all his assumed might, had been unable to achieve.

Hubert and Paul's friendship had grown out of the friendship between their fathers, both of whom trade had brought together. Paul's affluent parents were workaholics, and had little or no time for him. That made him become exposed to lots of corruptive influences, which made him grow wild, restive and dull in class. Feeling defeated by his inability to compete with other students in class, he developed deep spite for school and resorted to truancy. He found it difficult to subordinate himself to the custodial care of the school. Due to his parents' high stake in the school, the school authority had, at first, had to be circumspect about his case. Constant reports were sent by the school to the conspicuously absent parents, but no response was got from them. His unregenerate attitudes eventually forced the school to suspend its reluctance to act. He was indefinitely suspended, and not until then that the mother dashed to the school. The flamboyantly dressed woman pleaded profusely with the principal, on behalf of her son. She pleaded unavoidable business commitments for her long absence and seeming nonchalance.

“Madam, isn't it because of this boy that you apparently labour this much?” The principal said, after he had patiently listened to her give her face-saving excuses. “Will it gladden your heart to labour in vain? You have been shying away from your responsibilities. You have glaringly not been sufficiently involved in the boy's qualitative development, morally and spiritually particularly. And such dereliction of duties has made him grow into a recusant, so apathetic to the school's rules and regulations.”

The woman was apparently touched by the home truth. The principal offered her some advice on how she could better juggle her commercial commitments and her parental responsibilities. In the end, he had to extract a promise from her to give the recalcitrant son more motherly attention and stricter supervision to help him amend his rebellious ways.

Everybody was so much surprised when, the following week, the delinquent Paul returned to school so visibly redeemed. He became more regular in school, more attentive in class, and more dutiful in his studies. But when rain falls on the leopard, does it wash off its spots? Of course, a leopard cannot change its spot! Paul couldn't hold back his pretensions for too long. They didn't last a term before they began to crack, and he soon relapsed into his old habits.